TW: extreme violence, attempted murder, transphobia

I got jumped in high school. I could have died.

Me, once I broke free of the stranglehold: “Why did you do that?”

Him: “Because you’re different.”

Me: “Different? What kind of different?”

His friend, who watched the whole thing and did nothing: “Come on, let’s go. No, let’s *go*.”

They ran off.

Going back through it, “you’re different” wasn’t just over being trans (and starting to wear more femme clothing to school, and growing my hair out, in order to start trying to come out), or being mixed (although i got attacked for that as well, all the time), but because I didn’t pick up on the “…what are you doing” socially layered cues that were a sort of “danger: cease autism” warning against defying the norms, as well.

I now strongly suspect that not reading the warning cues (someone asked me “what’s this about”, and i didn’t get the “concerned, but oh well” tone and expression they had, at all), was what pushed things over the edge into my being attacked. Teenagers talk. What about? They didn’t tell me — I’m sure they assumed I’d figure it out on my own, or if not, that it was on me.

If I had known how to read the body language and facial expression of the person who tried to warn me, I’d have been like “oh shit, this is high school, and I’m…something they don’t like, obviously, they keep assaulting me, got it” and either closeted myself until I could get free, or figured out a means of resistance with my high school “beyond the outcasts” social cluster. ✊🏽 (Note: if I grew up when teaching “life skills” was more common, I doubt it would’ve helped much. My assumption is that doesn’t work for the same reasons that sex ed in the U.S. frequently doesn’t work, either. Labeling a curriculum a particular way doesn’t mean that it’s addressing the needs that the label infers.)

As it was, I was perplexed. I thought to myself, “Are you unhappy about the way i’m presenting? You don’t seem angry, so…well hunh, no idea. I guess you were just curious. Oh well.”

Shortly after that, I got jumped. I took the proficiency exam, split that gd place and never looked back. 💃🏽

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